Mere survival

The question I am naturally asked most often since Sophie was born is "how do you do it?!" They never specify "it" but it is an upsoken understanding between moms that "it" means taking care of a 3 yr. old and infant everyday without having spiraled into clinical depression/pyschosis/obesity from all the anxiety-driven snacking. It is an ever present challenge and I have survived thus far thanks to the following emotional crutches:

1) Wine (I wish it was before noon, but alas, only in the evening)

2) Chocolate in every form (my current favorite: dark chocolate covered pretzels! oooh, and melting baking chocolate chips in a bowl to dip fruits, nuts, bread, anything...). my stash is hidden everywhere around the house so that it is never more than an arm's length away in case spontaneous tantrum/whining/general negative toddler behavior erupts.

3) Venting. To anyone who is willing to listen really, but mostly to J and empathetic girlfriends. Although J doesn't see it as venting so much as unbearably whiny complaining. He has fast become desensitized to my outbursts and is convinced I am suffering a post-postpartum depression. The vent sessions with girlfriends are awesome. The toxins are purged my soul and I am made whole again. Until the next tantrum of course.

Seriously, things are in a sad state of affairs around here. K is at a very difficult age at 3, growing increasingly willful, obstinate, demanding and unbending to either of her parent's wishes. I didn't fully understand until now how much grey area there is in parenting. When type of behavior deserves a timeout? If she refuses to eat should I allow her to starve or accomodate her picky palate? How much TV is too much? Is it ok that she plays independently while I sit here enjoying my coffee or am I guilty of child neglect and putting her squarely on the path of becoming a serial killer???? OMG, my head hurts (as well as my heart).

K's 3rd birthday: Pinwheels and Polka dots

The invitation

The favors (painted with the initial of each guest)

The favors packaged

Banners!

More banners! (still mildly arthritic from cutting out a jillion triangles)

The spread (would you be surprised to know that there are very few foods that are naturally pink?)

Strawberry cupcakes with strawberry puree-cream cheese frosting



Can't have a pinwheel party without pinwheels


Polka dots galore (yes, I wrapped those chocolates with polka dot gift wrap. insanity, thy name is mommyhood)

The birthday girl blowing out some very tall candles in her birthday crown. Happy birthday K!! Can mommy take a nap now??

A day in the life

Breakfast! Waffles are on the regular rotation along with oatmeal, cranberry bread with peanut butter and rainbow cheerios (nothing makes a child wake up faster than bright neon sugar coated o's)...

Playing side by side, kinda...

Always have fresh flowers in the home. Even in these tough times, it's the one luxury in which I continue to indulge. You can't have enough things to provide an emotional lift when home-bound with a toddler and infant in the dead of winter!!!

The bonding begins

It's a thrill to see my two girls together. I envision the paths they will take - I cannot know how rocky or smooth they will be; only that their paths are eternally intertwined. Hurrah for sisters!

J's big 4-0!

It's tramautic yet unavoidable. The day you turn 40. I try to dull the pain with braised short ribs and a good wine. And a visit from a good friend.

Christmas 2008

Our first live Christmas tree! Of course 3 days after Jimmy set it up and we decorated it I found a spider in the tree and told Jimmy to take it outside and burn it. Luckily he didn't listen. He and my pospartum hormones are old friends and they have an unspoken understanding.

Sophie arrives

The contractions started 4:30am the day before thanksgiving. By 7:30am I was 10 cm dialated and at the hospital. One hour and a half later, after having declined pain medication (long story short: the nurses insisted I could push a few times and have the baby in a matter of minutes rather than wait around for the anesthesiologist), and having pushed for 30 minutes with not much progression, I teetered on the brink of sanity from the pain of natural childbirth. So in I pleaded for a c-section...and lo and behold..

Sophie was weighed in at .1 less than Katherine at 6.8 lbs. Both were around 75% for weight, but 95% for head circumference (please tell me that's why I've struggled and failed to push both of them out). While it was a vague suspicion in my mind before, I am now convicted of this - I am not cut out for labor. So I'm done!

Ah, there's nothing like a hard day's work. I need a vacation.